"I Will Not Let Anyone Walk Through My Mind With Their Dirty Feet" - Mahatma Gandhi

Creative blocks suck. Negative thought spirals suck. I struggle with both of these a lot honestly. I get spurts of energy and excitement towards a project, and then I get tired, or bored, or doubtful, and want to start on something else. BUT, not before shaming myself for not finishing the other stuff first.

(Ha, that restless energy vs inner criticism is my Gemini Rising battling my Virgo Sun.)

Take this blog for example. I have been so neglectful of it lately. All of my art really. It's not that I haven't wanted to write, or create, or do SOMETHING but nothing has been flowing. Every time I would set the intention to work on something it just ended up feeling forced. But that wouldn't stop me from berating myself about it.

I'm learning that that kind of pressure doesn't work for me when I create, or when I want to get anything accomplished really. For me, forced = rushed, and then I'm usually left feeling unfulfilled and cranky. Done is better than perfect, yes, butttt not always. I truly believe the energy you put into something translates. So, if ya half ass what's going into it, you're gonna get a half assed result. Sometimes you need to just be, let the ideas flow naturally. Turns out procrastination isn't always a bad thing.

"While persistent procrastination can lead to stress and lower performance, research shows intentional stalling may not always be bad. Sometimes, delaying a deadline may render a positive result"

I saw a TikTok recently, because obviously that's where one goes for distraction (and ideally inspiration), and I saw a video that was talking about the "should's". Ya know, the "I should be doing abc, not xyz". I CONSTANTLY do that to myself. "You should try this" "You should do that". Should, should, should. It throws me into an absolute shame spiral and then I just avoid, avoid, avoid.

Hence, finding myself on TikTok.

P.s: I may also be guilty of saying "should" to others, thinking I'm giving helpful advice or insightful suggestions. I know how it makes me feel when I do it to myself, and I never intentionally want to make someone else feel that way. I'm sorry guys, I was wrong to ever do that. I'm working on it!

So anyway, this woman was sitting peacefully in her camper with the doors and windows all open enjoying her coffee, reading her book, minding her business. Total tranquility, but still found herself thinking "I should sit outside". Did she need to sit outside? No. Did she want to sit outside? Also, no. So, instead, she kept on doing exactly what she had been doing; enjoying her space and the scenery around her, with her book and her coffee, just as she was before that thought popped into her head. She acknowledged the thought, but allowed herself to be content with what already was. She was in her flow.

That video resonated HARD! It's like I was meant to see it because it's EXACTLY how I've been operating lately. Who am I kidding, I've always operated that way. Constantly saying things like that to myself when all it does is leave me feeling shitty for not doing whatever it is I convince myself I "should" do instead. It's just another way we compare ourselves to others that causes self doubt, and fear. Fear that whatever it is we are doing is wrong and won't lead to what we actually want. It's a bullshit lie we need to stop feeding ourselves. Spit it out.

(and yes I'm aware there are plenty of situations we don't always have the luxury of choosing to put off, such is life, but 9/10 times it's just your inner critic, or the voice of someone else, that needs to stfu!)

"Fear Is an illusion based on the theory of importance and an exaggerated value we grant to something. Destroy that illusion, and you will destroy your fear."

So, if you find yourself saying "should", to yourself, or others, and doubting whatever it is you are doing, let's try taking that pause first. Is it a need? Is it a want? Is it even your voice saying it? If any of those answers are no, then just keep on swimming. Be present. Breathe.

Here is a great article I found on why "should" doesn't belong in our vocabulary anymore.

Cheers to finding your flow!

Xx